Day 19 Sickly, How little I know about women

Day 19: Bed Rest

Yesterday I was a complete invalid. Had a crazy fever, was shivering, all that awesome stuff. I also haven't eaten in 24 hours. I don't mind the aches and pains so much, what bothers me is laying in bed all day w/o any distractions. I'm a bit of a neurotic, so when I'm laying there I'm left alone with my thoughts, it's awful. I only left the house once to go to Rite Aid to get some Cold Eeze.
The Cough/Cold aisle was the busiest section in the whole place.

As I was laying in bed I realized how bad I am with women, truly horrible. Under normal circumstances I'm very awkward and bit a of a weirdo, and when I'm around women it's that much worse.It's a miracle that I'm not still a virgin. I was trying to find a complimentary word to describe a girl who's curvaceous. I don't think one exists. I've tried shapely, voluptuous, thick, hour-glass figured, I even pulled out rubenesque once. Apparently none of those are something a woman wants to be called. I have a few guy friends that are amazing at talking to and relating to women, I call them girl-whisperers. So like my girlfriend has told me before "You're prettier when you don't speak", my approach is, just smile and nod. Here's something I've noticed, almost every girl I've ever met, regardless of race, shape, age, background, have been to some kind of fortune teller, tarot card/palm reader, or at the very least check out their horoscope from time to time. I mean really intelligent, beautiful women from everywhere seem to be kind of into that sort of thing. I've even had a couple girls tell me they think astrology is bullshit but still be curious anyway, I love that.

"I love women, I have all their albums"



Things could be worse, this could be your passenger-side window.