Keeping with the whole honesty thing I should mention I still live at home, which is pathetic and ridiculous, but it gives me an interesting opportunity to talk about about living with my family.
Caught my dad watching Pretty Woman tonight, I don't think he knew what it was since he was channel surfing. It seemed like he was only interesting in Richard Gere fucking a prostitute.
I watched along with him for a bit. Julia Roberts was pretty hot then. There's this point right before she's about to give him bj when he asks her what she does and she says "everything, but kiss on the mouth". That's ridiculous. I'm going to assume by everything she means, anal, oral, Cleveland steamer, Cincinnati bow tie, tea bagging, pile driving , felching, etc god forbid their lips actually touch, silly fictitious prostitute. Eventually Dad got bored and went back to watching Predator, another movie which I need to see.
sidenote: when I Googled Richard Gere's name to make sure I spelled it right, Google assumed the next word I was going to write would be "gerbil". I wonder if Julia Roberts would participate in gerbil-play as well.Downloaded a shit load of Motown music, about 500 songs worth. It's all I've been listening to for the past 2days. I think it may be having an adverse effect on my behavior.
You know it's interesting. After all these years with my girlfriend I've only heard her fart once, I think. She was sleeping and I heard a noise that sounded like a fart, I can't prove it though. Also, to my knowledge she's never taken a shit. Either that or she's the fastest shitter on the face of the planet. Very different from myself, I can easily kill about 15minutes in there. I think she goes to the bathroom for the same amount of time for no.1 and no.2. So my conclusions are these, either she doesn't possess any digestive system or she shits little pellets like a hamster.
But you know what, god bless her for that. I think dudes should take note, hide the flatulence.Tonight I went with my friend Jim to Burger Barn out in queens. I'm still mid-financial fast so he spotted me the burger but I promised to get him back. The burger was great, I watched the disgruntled staff cook it up begrudgingly right in front of me.
Delicious, the contempt of their lives and jobs make the sweet potato fries that much sweeter. 
Jimmy is a great dude, but he can't drive anywhere without GPS, which makes sense to me because I find walking difficult without GPS.
Might be a slanty-eyed thing. I'm amazed I don't walk into more walls. Curse you god and your cruel sense of humor!!
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