Day 16 Watching Shitty TV, Informercials galore

Day 16: Pumping Up

My day's tend to blend together, the past few blog entries I've have to double check to make sure I've got the right day, as my friend Ashley pointed out I had written day 10 twice. I've been at my g/f's for the past few days, camera battery died so any pictures I use to illustrate my point will be made via some googled image. Since I'm no Cartier-Bresson so you're not missing much.

I'm writing part of today's blog around 5am. Infomercials and other late night ads have never been better. Being at my g/f's place is always interesting, here is where 99% of my TV watching takes place, whether I like it or not.

This is what I watched tonight. Looking at tonights line up, if my heterosexuality wasn't in question before ...

So I started off the night with this show called My Life as Liz on MTV. It is completely lame that I'd watch this, absolutely. But I'm not going to shit on it, this girl makes me laugh. It's shot in that MTV style of documentary about a girl's senior year of high school. It's probably completely scripted in which case the writing is good you should check it out.
Followed up by this masterpiece in cinematographyWhat can I say about this movie that you haven't already thought of. If you haven't seen it in awhile or have never seen it let me remind you of a scene. Arnold Schwarzenegger is flying an F16 with his daughter hanging off the cockpit while getting into a knife fight with a terrorist, while shooting at another group of terrorists in a helicopter. I don't care what you say about this movie, Jamie Lee Curtis definitely looks like someone who might have a penis between her legs.

And to top of the night, Buffy the vampire slayer. I have no excuse here. It was 4am we were channel surfing, I don't know what happened. Forgive me. It was horrible, absolutely horrible.

The most interesting shit on TV isn't these crappy movies or shows, it's the infomercials that air in those insomnia hours that only degenerates like your truly are awake. Here are some that you may have seen or heard of.

HSUS is the Human Society, their commercials are just freakish and depressing. They pull no punches and are ruthless in going for your heart strings. They do this by showing you picture after picture of mutilated eyeless and ear less dogs and cats for what seems like forever. In the end you almost want to give them money just to stop airing those ads. The whole time, while this dog/cat freakshow montage is working it's magic, fucking Sarah Mclachlan is playing in the background. This made no sense at first, until I realized it's to torture us as well so we'd want to mutilate ourselves like the animals. "Music to mutilate to" Hell, just talking about it makes me want to gouge out my ears right now.
These are just some images I picked up from google, apparently according to that cat there's shit the HSUS doesn't want you to know, but shes got both her eyes and ears so I wouldn't trust her.

The title says it all. Guys Gone Wild.
So many choices, how can one choose between Spring Break or Pool Party? Jesus H, look at those dvd covers, can they stress anymore that these are "ALL REAL" or " NOT ACTORS" thou doth protest too much Guys Gone Wild! There's no way actual women are buying these right? The dudes in these videos can't be straight, or that stupid. Either way I know what I'm getting my dad for next christmas.






This is by far, the best infomercial of them all. Check out the dude doing it 1 handed at 0.25 He must be a real pro. At 0.49 this dude's smiling from ear to ear. At 0.59 that dude hasn't been pumped like that in a long time.